When you’re a Christian, your life and the way you live it should be a testimony of the things you believe. Your dating relationship should be the same way. It may be saying more about what you believe than any argument you could make for Christianity. Your relationship could be a visible demonstration of the truth you claim to believe. The way Christians conduct themselves in dating, through chastity, love, honesty, selflessness, and intentionality, can give others a reason to investigate Christianity for themselves.
Secular culture treats relationships like a casual thing that focuses on personal fulfilment, desire, and pleasure. It focuses on what we can get rather than what we can give. Christianity presents a different framework: relationships are meant to be God-honoring and ultimately reflect the love that Christ has for us. It directly counteracts society, saying that love is about putting others before ourselves. Witnessing a fruitful, sacrificial relationship in a world that focuses on self can be thought-provoking.
There are values and practices that should clearly distinguish godly relationships from relationships shaped by secular culture. One of the most noticeable differences is the value placed on physical boundaries and purity. Our culture often emphasizes physical pleasure, but Scripture points us in a different direction. God designed physical intimacy to be part of the marriage relationship (Genesis 2:24). The boundaries God gives us aren’t meant to suggest that physical intimacy is bad, but to help us understand its proper place and significance within God’s design. A couple choosing restraint can raise questions about why people would choose to practice healthy boundaries in a world that emphasises the opposite.
While that might be one of the clearest examples, there are countless ways your relationship should look different as a Christian. One example is loving selflessly. Christian love isn’t merely affection or chemistry; biblical love is patient, kind, sacrificial, and not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:4–7). Another is openness and honesty. One of the primary issues in the dating world today is deception and dishonesty. Your relationship should involve honesty about intentions, expectations, struggles, boundaries, and faith. Similarly, a godly relationship should be defined by loyalty and commitment. Our world, especially our generation, treats people and relationships as disposable or replaceable. When things go wrong, or you aren’t pleased, people tell you to run, but Christian dating points toward covenantal commitment and ultimately marriage. This doesn’t mean staying in an unhealthy relationship simply because you’re Christian; rather, it means refusing to treat people as disposable. When we represent these things in our relationships, they demonstrate the goodness and love of our Lord, and it can turn heads.
Ultimately, your relationship should point others toward God. When two people who genuinely love the Lord choose to love and serve one another, their relationship becomes about more than just the two of them; it becomes an opportunity to reflect God’s love and advance His Kingdom. A godly relationship should encourage both people to grow closer to Christ, pursue holiness, and become more like Him. When people ask why our relationship looks different, we have an opportunity to give them the reason (1 Peter 3:15) and point them towards Christ. The way we date can become more than a reflection of our faith; it can become an invitation for others to discover the truth of the Gospel for themselves.
Written by Kayleigh Rosado